Leadership Does Not Have a Certain “Look” or “Sound”
Leadership Does Not Have a Certain “Look” or “Sound”
Last Saturday, July 13, 2024, two noteworthy leaders passed away. News of their deaths, however, was eclipsed by another event.
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Former President Donald Trump was wounded in an assassination attempt while addressing a campaign crowd in Butler, Pennsylvania. Though Trump was only grazed on the right ear, three audience members were struck by the shooter’s bullets. One died immediately and two were taken to the hospital with serious injuries. They were listed in critical condition by midnight Saturday but had stabilized by Monday morning. The shooter was identified as 20 year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks, a registered Republican who would have voted in his first national election this coming November.
The news this week has been dominated by that event and so there is no need to discuss it here, unless it is to say it is not surprising. In the hours immediately after the shooting, news outlets interviewed those in attendance at the event as well as Republicans and Democrats throughout the country for their reactions. A common theme was that it was shocking but not surprising. Regardless of political affiliation, people recognized the political divisions have become too deep and the political rhetoric too violent. Their comments implied it was just a matter of time before something like this happened to either of the major party candidates. Luke Hallam, a Senior Editor at the newsletter Persuasion, offered a commonsense essay titled How to Walk Back from the Brink in response to the shooting.
Richard Simmons
The death of fitness guru Richard Simmons was one of the two passings of note. He died at age 76 at his home in Los Angeles. Simmons was an over-the-top diet and fitness fanatic that developed a cult-like following and was extremely popular on the talk-show circuit. Many people would come to claim that Simmon’s approach to diet and exercise accounted for their own better health. Of his approach, the AP wrote in his obituary:
He was known to counsel the severely obese, including Rosalie Bradford, who held records for being the world’s heaviest woman, and Michael Hebranko, who credited Simmons for helping him lose 700 pounds. Simmons put real people — chubby, balding or non-telegenic — in his exercise videos to make fitness goals seem reachable.
Throughout his career, Simmons was a reliable critic of fad diets, always emphasizing healthy eating and exercise plans. “There’ll always be some weird thing about eating four grapes before you go to bed, or drinking a special tea, or buying this little bean from El Salvador,” he told the AP in 2005 as the Atkins diet craze swept the country. “If you watch your portions and you have a good attitude and you work out every day you’ll live longer, feel better and look terrific.”
Richard Simmons defied the norm for how we expected fitness and health improvement leaders to dress, behave, and even teach others how to eat and care for themselves. In the age of Jane Fonda’s Workout, there was, well, Richard Simmons and his Sweatin’ to the Oldies aerobics videos. Richard Simmons did not change the world for everyone. Few movement leaders ever do. He did, however, change the world for a lot of people like himself who struggled with weight, obesity, and body image.
Dr. Ruth
This weekend’s other noteworthy passing was the death of Dr. Ruth Westheimer, more commonly known as simply, “Dr. Ruth.” Dr. Ruth died at age 96.
In 2014 I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Ruth and chat with her for several minutes. I even have the photo to prove it. We were on the same luncheon program at a national conference. I was there to eulogize a recently deceased friend and colleague who was held in high regard by conference attendees. Dr. Ruth was there as the featured luncheon speaker. Prior to the start of the luncheon, while conference attendees were all in breakout sessions, I wandered into the exhibit hall. At the far end sat a small woman at a table with a number of books in front of her. As I got closer, I recognized her as Dr. Ruth.
Like many others, I’m not at ease meeting famous people. Sheepishly I approached her and started a conversation with something like, “I’m really looking forward to hearing you speak today, Dr. Ruth.” She smiled, asked me about myself, and our conversation started. When people started coming into the exhibit hall, I asked for a picture with her and then left so she could meet and greet others.
The New York Times obituary for Dr. Ruth provides an interesting, brief history of her life and work. The obituary by the AP offered more insight into the nature of her approach and messages related to sexual health, which some may find surprising. The AP wrote:
Westheimer never advocated risky sexual behavior. Instead, she encouraged an open dialogue on previously closeted issues that affected her audience of millions. Her one recurring theme was there was nothing to be ashamed of.
“I still hold old-fashioned values and I’m a bit of a square,” she told students at Michigan City High School in 2002. “Sex is a private art and a private matter. But still, it is a subject we must talk about.”
Westheimer’s giggly, German-accented voice, coupled with her 4-foot-7 frame, made her an unlikely looking — and sounding — outlet for “sexual literacy.” The contradiction was one of the keys to her success.
What I remember about Dr. Ruth is that she lived the ethic revealed in the quote used in the AP obituary: “Sex is a private art and a private matter. But still, it is a subject we must talk about.”
Dr. Ruth and her approach were the inspiration for many of us in that era who worked in sexual health education, including myself. A stereotype I frequently encountered when I was working in the field was that sexuality educators were “anything goes” kind of people. One person’s gross misconception made me laugh aloud when he told me he believed our sexual health conferences were actually covers for mass orgies. What I experienced at those events was nothing like that. Like Dr. Ruth, we knew of the real and significant dangers presented by unprotected sex with unknown and multiple partners, especially in the time of the AIDS epidemic. Also, like Dr. Ruth, we understood that silence about sex was extremely risky and put millions of people, particularly young people, at risk.
Dr. Ruth inspired and led many of us to boldly go where our society had not been willing to go in an open, honest, and healthy way. Sex is still “a subject we must talk about” even in this time when strong efforts are underway to limit access to comprehensive sexual health materials and content in schools, bookstores, clinics, and even homes. Dr. Ruth did not fit the stereotype of what a sexual health educator should look like or sound like. I am most grateful for this.
Leadership occurs in the most unexpected ways and places. No one would have picked chubby Milton Teagle Simmons of New Orleans to become the fitness guru Richard Simmons. No one would have expected the diminutive Karola Ruth Siegel, with her heavy German accent, to become sexual health expert Dr. Ruth who spoke to millions of people worldwide in the media. If our leaders had to look, act, and speak in certain ways, we’d have never heard of either of these people. Collective change leadership opens the door for people like Milton and Karola to step up and into their destiny and it gives us permission to step into ours as well.
An Opportunity in North Carolina
Our friends and colleagues at Tamarack Institute alerted us to a posting at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill that could be of interest to any number of people who subscribe to Change It Up! It is the position of Associate Dean Community Engagement & Outreach. If you, or someone you know, might be interested, you can learn more details at this link: https://unc.peopleadmin.com/postings/283067
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